Labels: pain
haven been blogging for some time.
i guess no one else except myself. understand anything for these past few daes.
all these crap.
all these trauma.
pple may tink i haf alot.
but no one noes wat i haf is wat i haf been closely guarded and treasured for so long. even years,
until i cant imagine.
wat will happen to my world.
if i ever lose someone i hold dear.
im so sick and tireds of being selfless.
acting selfless.
pretending tt i can be selfless without any tinge of sadness.
but i cant anymore.
all i wanted was tt little bit for myself.
can i be selfish for once.
can i tink for myself for once.
can i not give in.
and i jus take.
for once.
tis is all i wanted.
tt little bit.
y did it become so hard.
is tis all.
i feel so weak.
i cant let these tears flow anymore.
im becoming so used to wat has been given to me.
im so afraid.
so scared tt they will be gone one dae.
can u. u. u. u.
these few closest i hold so close to my heart.
stay by me.
y does it feel lyk suddenly.
in the deepest part of myself.
its surrounded by walls and walls.
im left all alone.
all i ever wanted.
was tis simple.
but y does it seem so faraway.
---2:00 AM---
Labels: random.
haha..din blog tis post becos im feeling emo or anything..
jus becos i had an inspiration on mondae when k-ing wif my girls..
wanted to blog..but dragged till now..
went to katong shopping centre to k..it was quite cheap act..w/o drinks..abt $9 per person..
but i was so dead after the chalet..the sleepless nites..that i jus slept half of the k session..and oni woke up esp when there are jay songs..=d
but nevertheless..it was a sweet and enjoyable outing..
din sing enuf..
still wanting to k..hahax..
we sang 五月天's 牙关..
it was quite a sad song..then it writes..
如果你爱过我
你不会就这样走
就这样丢下我
和那些天真承诺
and i suddenly recalled one of jay's old song 安静..which writes..
我会学着放弃你
是因为我太爱你
both are jus so contrasting..
jus tt..do u believe in letting a person go becos u love him/her too much..
i'll nv tink so.
cos when u love..u'll fight everything jus to be wif the person isnt it.
cos no matter wat its all worth it.
so i'll nv believe in those...i haf to let u go cos i love u too much rubbish.
it reli doesnt work tt way.
from coldplay's violet hills.
if u love me why do u haf to let me go.
but eh.
y does tt seem vaguely familiar.
y did i saw tt in .. .. .. .. and .. .. .. and it goes on.
perhaps its oso a form of relief to know its a lie and still believe in it.
the beauty of ignorance.
and hopefully one dae..
when it suddenly dawns on u..everything will haf faded.
perhaps perhaps perhaps.
was talking jus now.
and i suddenly realised tt.
oni love can overcome all differences.
haha..i alwaes sae tis to hl.
love me.love u.
love.
---3:24 AM---
Labels: updates part 2
its reli late now.
was addicted to some hk drama serials.
watched my FIRST soccer match yest.
it was the live telecast of the finals. man u vs chelsea.
and man u won yes.
went to watch wif a grp of frens at a chelsea bar.
haha..it was quite amusing to see how devoted the fans at the bar were. all those shirts and banners.
i'll sae it was act quite a good match. reli veri exciting.
kept me glued to my seats staring at the tv.
and i felt so nervous at the last part where there were penalty kicks..that i even stood up. too excited to sit down. haha..
nice match new experience..maybe i'll watch more soccer in the future..;)
ever since hols everydae has been happy for me.
though i noe the cold truth-results will come soon.
but shall forget abt it as for now.
and maybe prepare myself when its 1-2 daes before the release date.
the thought of results kills.
i cant believe tat i spent...................................................................days but yet................................
sustainability?
i hope my energy level can oni increase..
belief.
going to tampiness ikea tmr.(:
havent been there before.
and im SO HAPPIE IM FINALLY MEETING ZHIRU TIS SUN.
it has been 5 months.
150 daes since i last saw her.
got so much to tell her. (:
its beautiful.
lovelove.
---4:40 AM---
Labels: updates. outings. girls.
i feel so bad.
for abandoning my blog.
lesser posts.
will work harder to keep it up.(:
my hol life has been a boom.
mani meetings and i reli enjoy each of them alot alot.
and i kind of cant rem every detail
but most of them.(:
chalet was love.
had one of the simplest but best one.
and yes hl i love ur most recent reality mixed wif fantasy post. =d
recently i find myself wanting to protect cos of the lack of security.
and tt i find myself maturing too.
is it due to me growing up.
nw tt im almost 20.
i haf started to tink more.
in fact more abt the future tt i wan.
tt hse wif a golden retriver yes.
in fact it is act impossible.
but i'll work hard.
i'll work hard for the future when i graduate.(:
mani mani pics.
mani mani sweetest outings.
esp those wif my girls.
i dare nt imagine wat will happen.
if i had nt entered rv.
had nt met my lovliest girls. haven met hl.
i wont haf wat i hold dearly now.
we alwaes hear pple sae.
things happen for a reason.
and i tink tts so true..haha..
and my current fav love.
is BUTTER CUPCORN.
i haf been eating them for the past few daes.
and i finally bought some home to make them myself.
and i muz sae they taste heavenly.
its reli yumyum.
best food for supper.=D
pics soon.
its magical.
lovelove.(:
---2:05 AM---
Labels: updates part 1
short update.
watched 2 movies.
what happens in vegas and iron man.
lyked both.
they were good in their own ways.
both recommended.
iron man is more of action. exciting.
but vegas is a more sweet story..highly recommended for pple who wans to haf a sweet movie(:
and i love love cup corn.
corn wif butter and salt = love.
am craving for it badly now..(:
update on my life.
happy.
contented.
hafing everything i wanted.
hafing the sweetest frens ard me.
whom i reli treasure alot alot alot.
and whenever i tink of it.
theres tis warm feeling in my heart.(:
and of cos.
hoping and wanting badly for hl to be wif her love.
in fact everytime im worried for her.
cos lyk i told her.
i swear i reli can feel everything ur feeling now.
and u can read my mind.
lyk alwaes.
and u noe.
ur bliss is my bliss.
love u(:
and i miss apple alot.
bumped into her at woodlands.
she's reli getting sweeter and sweeter and prettier oso.
love her dressing.
apple apple apple. miss u.(:
reli hope she gets the job she wans.
and i miss zr alot too.
will be meeting her real soon too.
we complained we each mia for 4mths.
hahax..
i even dreamt of her and steven few daes ago.
and i saw steven on the train todae.
still looking good as usual.
they jus went out but i oni managed to catch steven.
but she's busy wif her attachment now.
haf so much to tell her.
haf been hafing reli yummy food these daes.
even had good pasta and apple crumble wif icecream todae.
AND I RELI LOVE CREAMY STUFF.
cream pasta.
and creamy udon.
cream and cheese makes my dae.
u noe i noe.
u noe i noe u noe.
i noe u noe i noe.
hl saes nth is definite yes.
the future is in our hands.
love.
---3:45 AM---
Labels: my girls
went to orchard abt 3 daes ago to shop for my mummy's mother's dae prez.and i saw tt the boards were cleaner.AND THE PENS HAD INKS.so.i draw tis.tis is wat i call.forever love.hearts.steamboat tmr nite.i cant wait. love
---3:29 AM---
Labels: rough nite
its 630am now and i haven slept.
cos i reached home at 2am.
went dinner wif bz and we walked all along clarke quay and city hall esplanade then back again and chatted along the way.
cool and enjoyable nite.
dinner was at my fav waraku restaurant.
it was coincidental act. jus happened tt bz lyk tt restaurant and its my fav too.(:
reached home.
hl was emoing.
i was emoing.
rough nite.
tt explains y i still haven slept a wink though im reli tireds and its alreadi morning now.
i noe im reli demanding.
or in fact too demanding.
but sometimes i reli cant help it.
cos tis is how much i reli need.
more pics will be uploaded tmr.
i haf mani mani overdue pics.
and..
happie mother's dae.
love.
---6:26 AM---
Labels: random. hl.
had a wonderful time wif hl on her bdae.
at least everything turned out fine.
they plannings and preparation reli took me veri long.
few daes to a week.
nearly BURNT MY HAIR DOWN.
yes.
luckily i din.
realised in time.
exact details will be blogged tmr.
and photos too.(:
hope u had a great time.
and if u ask me.
wat drives us to go all out to do something for pple we heart.
its reli the ability to love.
tt makes us all special.
so.
love me. love you.
xoxo.
---2:49 AM---
Labels: happy birthdae melissa
and of cos..
to my beloved melissa.
happy happy birthdae. (:
may u haf the sweetest bdae..
we shall celebrate it soon soon..
lovelove,
fiona
plus
all all all of our girls.
love.
---11:49 PM---
Labels: happy birthdae huiling
before the clock strikes 12am..
and before its end of ur bdae..
let rabby wish u........
happy birthdae
my dearest loveliest chowhuling.
i hope the surprises were sweet enough to take ur breath away.
happy 20th.
wif loads of love,
ur fionachialiwen
(.crabbit love.)
---11:42 PM---
Labels: pictures. nitemares. girls. outings. hl.
pictures as promised.first few during our chinatown k.last 3 at vivo city during our ben and jerry's dae wif my proj grp mates.absolutely love strawberry icecream cos theres a generous chunk of strawberry in them.marche food is reli delicious too.those were oni half of the food.the rest were in our mouths before any photos can be taken. (: abit too lazy to blog.nowadaes i reli haven been sleeping well.i wake up few h even every h.becos of all the nitemares im hafing.its tt bad.wq its my turn now. now i understand how u felt. =(i reli cant sleep cos those dreams are so bad yet so real.hate waking up in shock, cold sweat, breathing hard. it all started since last week.but im nt letting it affect me.shall still be a glutton and continue sleeping.now matter how bad the dreams are.they'll jus be a nitemare.they shall nt haunt me. tinking back.crab tis is the start of the 8th week.time reli flies.u noe. no matter wat.im ever so grateful.tt time.tt space. tt moment. wat do we call tt.tt second in time.and u said we act quarrelled for 3 weeks.tt was so long.how did we manage to tide thru them.i sae.tt was becos of our deep deep love.i sae.i owe wat i haf.to u.cos without u............................................................tis week shall be a blast.im returning wat u gaf me back to u.WAHAHAHAHAHAS.evil evils smile*.abt 2 more papers to go.2 more daes to go.jiayous k.looking forward to ur freedom. then we can do the craziest stupidest things ever together. next week there will be girls steamboat.my fav fav. =D it jus cant get any better. love.
---3:43 AM---
Labels: updates. k wif girls. family.
posting photos of the k outing tonite..abit lazy now..haha..oni 3 photos in total act..in the k room..i still lyk the smiles (:
and the yummy food from my tut girls outing at vivo marche..waiting for michelle to send us the rest of the mani photos she took wif her big big powerful camera..
next week is a week devoted solely for chowhuiling.
haha..u better be touched ah..cos im spending 3 longlong daes wif u..=p
the weather is so bad nowadaes..its unbearably hot..i tink it makes pple tempted to cut their hair..wonder y did it suddenly became so hot..and when will rain ever come..it has been quite a few daes since it last rained.
and isnt my blog song awfully sweet..it was one of the rare few happy songs we sang tt dae..the rest were all emo..dunnoe y..haha..now is the emo period perhaps..or maybe we were jus emoing tt nus pple din come..and y is it tt my blog doesnt match such a cute song..humphs..my blog is cutes too lohs..to make my blog cuter..i shall refrain from writing emo entries for long long..lyk tis..then it'll match the sweet song better correct..(: but tis song by liang jing ru makes me feel sweet..=D
and and..my daddy reli dotes on us..he bought lyk mani scallops becos my sis and i love them alot..so i ate 15 scallops during dinner jus nw..and i went mayim for xiaolongbao and fav roast duck and chicken noodle and porridge and spring onion wif fish etc etc..plus reli good mango pudding too..and and..ate herbal egg..and and am eating coconut tutu now..
food makes fiona a happie girl.=DD
lovelove.
---8:45 PM---
Labels: k girls outing
more updates abt our lovelove ntu girls k outing later.(:
it was pure fun.
hahax..nus peeps..when ur joining us..
jiayous k..
i wan the steamboat and more more k-ing.
lovelove.
---3:53 AM---
Labels: happy bdae alex
happie 20th birthdae alexander gohhhhhh.
love. (:
---3:50 AM---
