for long ive done, ive seen so much
for you ive been, be there, of such
but times and scenes of life that showed
the paths u might, to take, and chose
for blessings i am giving my best,
for all i see, all that i really can
i deem u trust ur heart, ur truth
to all i smile, as you would too
hahax..cw's poem for mi..i tink his second time making a poem for mi..haha..he's so talented..he finished tis in a few min..reali thank him alot for his care..i luv my kor..haha..=>
another personality test..haha..alwaes lyk cancer pple..cos my mum is a cancer too..and she's so nice..and they alwaes sae..cancer pple are homely..haha..but nah..its not alwaes true..but..libras are e best..=PpYour True Love Is a Cancer 
Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!
Why a Cancer will love you:
You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.What Sign Is Your True Love?
---11:51 PM---
christmas is over..had alot of fun over the few daes..haha..shall blog abt it later cos it'll be veri long..or leave it to zr to blog first rites..haha..
yest nite chengwei called mi..randomness i guess..he called quite late lyk 2 plus 3am..was half zzz act..then we tok for 1 h plus..it was mostly abt his probs..
after toking to him..it made mi tink abt alot of things..y are we so superficial..y is it tat its alwaes the appearance tat matters so much..is it a human weakness..or zr sae its an instinct in us..then does it means tat plastic surgery shd be rightfully accepted..
perhaps nth is fair..y are some pple born naturally good looking..while some are not..but tink further..no one is perfect..someone may haf the biggest eyes..but it doesnt mean she is pretty..you may not haf the nicest eyes..but you may haf some other parts which make you look nice too..perhaps we shdnt dwell..alwaes believe tat everyone is pretty in her own way..jus how you see it..tis may sound clique..but even for the prettiest person..there will be someone who finds her not pretty..even for someone who is ordinary..there will be someone who find her gorgeous..and its not alwaes the prettiest who leads the best lives..
so i guess the answer is contentment..but no one will ever be totally contented..there will be alwaes something which we wan but its impossible to get..then is it true tat wat is most precious is act something which we noe we'll nv obtain..but y not take a step back and look at the things we haf ard us..all the simple but things we noe we cant afford to lose..perhaps treasure is the best word..
everyone has their own life..we haf our own control over our own lives..y muz we gif in wat other pple tink..y care abt the pressure they exert..tink further..wat is the most impo to you..is it their comments..or the person you reali luv..look beyond k..who is part of your future..is it these so called good frens whom you noe you cant reali connect..whom you noe you muz put a mask when toking to them..its not easy..to find someone who's able to accept you completely..who luvs you so much..whom you haf no secrets to hide from..can you ever find another replacement..no..perhaps everyone is diff..i can nv understand totally wat you are facing..but..hope you understand one dae..tat you'll alreadi haf the best..tis is your life..haha..go find the green pasture..beautiful lake and small house one dae..far far away..go pursue wat you reali wan k..
after saeing so much..act i noe i cant do wat i act sae..whenever i go out..i spend one h trying on clothes..dressing up..choosing accessories..dolling up..sometimes i reali dun lyk tis..i dunwan my confidence to build on these layers of clothings and accessories..but i cant find the natural beauty tat i haf alwaes been seeking..toking abt being superficial..aint mi myself superficial too..alwaes wanting to look the best..sometimes..when i feel tat i dunlook nice..i'll refuse to leave the house..once told hl tat i feel stressed..sometimes when someone praises mi..cos i dun noe if i can match up to the compliment..so here is mi..feeling tat im not slim enough..tinking abt the calories..the amt of fats..my weight..whenever i go out..and see all the so slim gals on the streets..inferiority steps in..y is it tat my waist is nv slim enough..sometimes i'll worry..wat if next time e person i lyk dun find mi pretty..how do i find someone who i can face confidently wif the plain normal mi..jus lyk when im wif my close galfrens..its hard reali..
nah..jus random tots..but it looks lyk its abit messed up and hard to understand..haha..recently fell in luv wif a new song by elva..her new album is so good..haha..when i find a job..i shall buy it..so heres the lyrics..and website..its a veri meaningful song..but sad..hope your'lln lyk it too..tataz..
http://mp3.baidu.com/m?tn=baidump3lyric&ct=150994944&lm=-1&f=1&word=%BA%F3%C0%B4%B5%C4%CE%D2%C3%C7
http://www.haoting.com/musiclist/ht_3a5a8151b140b69f.htm
---3:44 PM---
my maid reali left le..tink the plane is flying now..sad..haha..heart aches..it feels reali abit quite painful for someone to leave you..i din cry..i dunwan to cry infront of my parents..saw my maid eyes filled wif tears too..
haha..controlling my sadness..i alwaes din lyk crying infront of my parents..dunwan them to worry..haha..so whenever im sad i'll hide somewhere..and cry oni when no one is around..
but i noe i'll tide thru..haha..its not the end rites..can write letter..and looking forward to my maid smsing mi when she gets a phone..its not the end..i muz cheer up rites..
haha..warning to my darlings..your muz nv leave mi..or..my doggy will bite you..haha..i reali hope my maid will be blessed..and stay happie foreva..
---11:10 PM---
dun tink i will be online for todae jn maybe tmr..so.brief summary..went cw house..had reali alot of fun..*will rem to blog later abt it*..
my maid is leaving in the evening todae..back to indonesia..perhaps to get married..tink she misses her family alot..it has been in spore for more than 2years..she even extended for 2months more cos i was A's during tat period..she was reali lyk a sister to mi..cos our ages are similar..so was reali close..played together..shop together..our tastes are act quite similar too..she alwaes calls mi dog and i call her cat..haha..
it feels so odd..sad..tat someone who has been wif you for 2 years everydae..she's actuali leaving you foreva..lyk you'll nv see her again..sense of loss..couldnt fall asleep yest..cos was tinking n tinking..tireds but couldnt zzz..in the end after a few hrs..finally managed to fall zzz..
we tend to take things for granted..tat wat is there will alwaes be there..y is it tat we learn how to treasure oni on the verge of losing it..perhaps tis is a reminder..tat nth is foreva..we muz learn to appreciate all the small things in life..
sad..haha..every min feels abit painful..cos the time left is decreasing and decreasing..less than 6hrs left..how do i face the empty room which used to belong to her..
---12:38 PM---
zr ask mi to blog..so under popular demand..hahax..from one person oni rites..i decided to use my amazing typing speed to blog an entry..
went for interview todae instead of watching the jay movie wif hl..cos we woke up late..then she has to leave early to eat christmas dinner wif her 2f frens..the interview was okay..at raffles place..it was quite relaxed act..they din ask anything much..jus normal questions..
todae i tink i had a cold war wif my mum..the first time over so mani years..suddenly dun feel lyk blogging abt it..haha..no mood..but nah..tink its half resolved..and my mum gaf mi the password to e com..finally..tink cos she heard mi when i was toking to zr over the phone..dun noe..perhaps too used to being confined..so when im being let go..it feels odd..act i guess i dun mind the com hafing password..perhaps e oni thing i mind is tat my hp being read..but..maybe from todae onwards..she'll understand and not read it anymore le..
i reali reali wan to thank zr n hl..hahax..zr will alwaes empathise wif mi..but hl will offer a reali unbiased and objective view..haha..2 sides..then..alwaes after toking to them..i feel so so much better..all the frustrations..hahax..how do i live wifout you..thank you reali..C=
im so much better now le..haha..i forget veri easily i guess..haha..is tat a good or bad point..now tinking back..jus a random tot..reali trust you gals instinct veri much..maybe is ur tt make mi not make decisions tat i may regret..gals instinct rites..haha..
once again..i cant help but feel tat im lucky n happie now..i owe alot to mani pple..esp my kors reali..alot alot..luv them..i'll nv forget all the things tat happened..lyk the daily reminders during Alevels by cheeyen..haha..though i nv reali sae it out to them..jus kept everything inside..lucky lucky gal..so wat else can i sae..wat can i complain..contented le..blessed..haha..(=
tis is all for todae..looking forward to the christmas party tmr..haha..reali wan to enjoy myself for tis 3 daes..before going to reali work..my maid is leaving on sat..i will reali miss her..she's lyk a close fren to mi le..cos we alwaes play together..sigh..i tink i'll cry..haha..2 years plus le..see how then..blogged abt tis later..goodnites..=)
---10:42 PM---
nowadaes dunlyk blogging le
haha..cos lyk alot of things to blog..i reali cant rem..dun noe how to start..dun noe when to end..and my mum oni gif mi little time to go online..so alwaes cant reali fini..so reali haf to try to summarise until jus nice..and u noe my typing speed.....hahax..
back to e cycling..haha..it has been quite long since i last cycled ..so cant reali cycle in a straight line still..though i wore a cap..i still got sunburn..sad..but its recovering quite well..so..i'll be veri sad if i get darker..haha..act enjoyed the outing..thank u..glad i guess..cos everything is honest true and direct..heart to heart..haha..pity din see the sunset cos of the clouds..it was act raining before tat..but i luved the wind..haha..geuss picture speaks a thousand words..tis is the pic of alex n mi..since oni my close frens are reading..so tis okay to post it..haha..zr n hl shd recognise..haha..oni apple dun noe..=P dun reali look nice in the pic..haha..hl saes i look tireds..nowadaes becuming less and less photogenic..haha..
went to 2b gals outing yest..wenqiang lives at some reali remote place up the hill at hillview..it was raining so heavily..heavy rain and so dark..cant see clearly..then got lost..went up the wrong hill..luckily managed to contact wenqiang..and she managed to find mi..it was a long long way up her house..reached her house quite late..was so touched to realised tat they waited for mi to arrive before starting to eat..though they were all hungry..felt guilty and sweet..we jus sat down..potluck..ate n tok..it was so fun..reali gals tok..gossips..scandals..disturbing..it was so so fun reali..i miss gals tok!! missed them badly..haha..but they are reali a group of fantastic pple..luv all the jokes too..hope we can last lyk tis foreva..haha..they dun change reali..yrs later..they are still them..i reali tink they got mani crushes lahs..or maybe attached le..but they refused tos ae anything..jus hear lots of scandals..haha..the oni diff i guess..is tat they are not as anti guys le..and act they haf mani guy frens..jus tat i cant tell which is their ahmm..hahax..though they wont read tis..but..i reali reali luv them..alot..haha..2b gALs rulex..
reminder wat to blog next time:
christmas shopping
ruru*..linked to the topic which i alwaes wanted to tok abt..hahax..lets see next time then..
yea..fridae i can finally haf bbq..it all depends on cw's cooking skills le..hahax..they'll be a big turkey and bacon and ham! i wan to push him into thew pool..hahax..nah..wan to play water..yea..tmr theres jay movie..long awaited..dun care..jay is still shuai..and..haha..can eat popcorn..happie..goodnites..=)
---10:56 PM---
haha..so mani things to type..but yet not enough time..so guess i muz reali reali summarise everything..
went cycling wif alex on fridae at east coast..haha..it was fun..veri long nv cycle le..nearly fell twice i tink..but i din fall..haha..so it shows my skills still not bad rites..haha..saw wakeboarding there too..din noe it existed until tat dae..hahax..saw a veri handsome guy..hahax..suddenly miss swimming..one dae..maybe will go sentosa wif zr..hahax..hmm..can i skip details abt tis outing first..cos no time le..*rems to write it the next time..*
yea..tue got 2B gals potluck..miss them veri much..haha..we oni meet lyk twice every year..but muz thank mel for organising every year wifout fail for lyk 3 years le..haha..maybe i go bake something..
and cw is organising bba cum christmas dinner on fridae..he wans turkey bacon etc lahs..haha..though i seriously doubt it will turn out nice..shh..haha..cos lyk too much le..and imagine..a turkey is so big..hahax..but he saes he's going to do it..so..hahax..haf to trust him le..and of cos..his gf n a few frens are going too..haha..
foster was perfect..reali luv the children..their cuteness..innocence..sweetness..and playfulness..haha..next time..if i can..i wan to open a childcare..haha..
christmas is coming so soon..lyk no time to buy prez le..muz rush..haha..haf been tinking of wat to buy..
mum nagging again..it seems lyk my com will foreva haf a password..haha..goodnites..=)
---10:22 PM---
firstly..i muz sae..im so amazed at zr's el..hahax..her inference of the song lyrics was quite perfect..it was a great song..jus tat it was veri dark..and cruel..but guess the mtv was done reali well..hahax..so tats wat you spend your daes at home doing rites..
and im so so amazed wif jay chou's mtv..its all done by himself..and its perfect..haha..dying to watch his movie..which will oni be shown starting from 21dec..dun care if im working on tat dae or anything..muz take leave to watch..haha..next time my bf muz be someone who lyks jay too..jay rules..=D
still trying to find a job..apple found one le..which is not bad..sigh..may not be able to go foster..cos i haf interview at 10am at bugis..but reali realiw an to go foster..its oni one a month..i miss weihong..reali reali miss weihong..his smiles..laughs..hahax..and his cuteness..willl nv forget the baby gal wif reali big eyes..hahax..decided..i'll definitely go foster..hope the interview ends early..
went out wif bz todae..he surprised mi wif a bouquet of flowers..it has been so long since we knew..lyk 2 years le..def my nice kor..we went colbar..some reali remote place..haha..quiet and nice..but got bitten by mani mosquitos..but oni mi..sad..hahax..nvm..dun noe who told mi before..its called feeding an animal..haha..it has been almost half a yr..but everything is still the same..haha..we still tok so much..laugh so much..he's still as serious..haha..then we went to temasek club nearby..it was reali quiet and peaceful there..lyk the cottage look alyk houses..haha..went to see the pool..saw swings! but din play cos it was raining..haha..miss playing swings..we took a few pics..i feel tat i look fat..then he sae tat cameras dun lie lahs..evil person..haha..
somehow..i alwaes feel natural and theres no stress when im wif bz..can do anything..lyk while waiting for the shuttle bus..cos i haf an interview at citibella..some makeup and slimming centre..so i grabbed a few cosmetics before i left house.grabbed lipstick and eyeshadow..made use of the free time to jus randomly put on some makeup..not afraid to show my vainess..haha..my bimboness in front of him..kip forcing him to delete all the photos which i tink is not nice..haha..but poor him..he had to eat veri veri veri slow..in order to match my eating speed..somehow theres no selfconsciouness..haha..and gald he lyk the frenship band i made yest nite..
reali..thank bz for tis 2 years..all the support and help..and reali for being so understanding..haha..perhaps lyk zr once said..its all karma..mayb i did good things in my previous life..tats y i got to meet such nice pple..or maybe its my parents..feel blessed and lucky..reali grateful..so i muz do more good deeds..to spread the kindness i tink..haha..reali..the world will becum more beautiful..but now..i still miss foster..haha..random tot..
tis time..my dad is nagging..cos he wans to use the com too..yea..will see my uncle on saturdae on my grandfather's bdae dinner..nites..=>
---8:29 PM---
haha..veri long nv do personality tests le..so decided to try some..and i lost more than half of my contact list cos my hp was spoiled..sigh..
discover what candy you are @ quiz me
| You Should Rule Saturn |
 You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature.And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life.You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past. |
| You Are a Boston Creme Donut |
 |
| You are 100% Libra |
 |
| You are 53% Taurus |
 |
| Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover |
 You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover. |
| You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug! |
 |
| You Are a Very Good Girl |
 |
| Your Ideal Hairstyle: |
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| You Are a Lace Bra! |
 |
| You Are Cherry Kiss Lip Gloss |
 Any guy needs to match your romantic idealism to win your heart, which is why few have.No wonder Cherry your signature flavor. It's delicious, sugary, and fun - like you! |
| You Are a Carnation |
 |
| You are Platform Sandals |
 |
| Guys Like That You're Sensitive |
 |
| You Are Practically Plastic |
 |
| Princess Ball Gown |
 |
| You are a Dark Red Rose |
 Your vibe: sophisticated and worldly Falling in love with you is: wildly carnal and forbidden |
| Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Heart Diamond! |
 |
| You Are Jennifer Aniston |
 |
| Your Inner Pop Princess Is Hilary Duff |
 You're sweet and cute, but a little more complex than that. |
| Your Vibe Is Somewhat Sexy |
 |
| Your Gemstone is Aquamarine |
 |
---10:50 AM---
i bought a..thermal ceramic hair permer at watsons!!
finally..convinced my mum to let mi buy..its not and ex one..but tried jus now..and it works..=D
alwaes lyk reborn..cos last time my hair is lyk..haha..veri veri thick..its still thick now..but..i lyk it..=P
haha..tried perming abit jus now but my mum saes it looks messy..guess haf to do it slowly n more skillfully..haha..alwaes feel tat perming the bottom gifs a princessy look..haha..we shall see..;)
haf been going out for tis past few daes..cos my mum is on leave..then she brought my sis my maid n i out for the past week..bought quite a few things..haha..of cos the usual stuff..clothes and accessories..hahax..ate quite abit too..but since before prom..my appetite lyk drop abit le..haha..dun noe y..maybe becos chengwei lahs..sae i was quite round lyk more than half a yr ago..but my wt has alwaes been ard the same..haha..he evil de lahs..then he sae..ahmm..my chest decrease..haha..he so so evils rites..though i dun reali see any diff..maybe becos since i learnt food chem..and realise tat milk is act made up of fat emulsion..then dun dare drink le..but..haha..dun noe y..though he said tat to mi..i dun reali feel awkward or embarrassed..maybe becos he's my kor..and..haha..reali dun treat him as a guy..haha..he said he was veri sad to hear tat..but..haha..reali..when tok to him..its reali lyk natural..we quarrel..haha..lightly..and can reali lyk sa jiao..(act spoiled?) all i wan..then he will follow mi..haha..cute funnie guy..haha..and he bluff mi lahs..sae wat kip pressing f8 then can unlock my mum's com password..n i stupidly go try..then cannot lahs..to tink he com expert..haha..and he got a quite high paying job..due to his expert com skills..haha..and he owes mi a bdae treat..haha..reali..i reali wish shijia n him can make it..haha..he matured quite alot ever since they were together..one thing abt him..is he has mani sides act..mature..vulgar..haha..humorous etc..but when we tok..i guess its his most natural side..so..maybe tats y we are so close..though we dun reali spend alot of time together..the feeling jus nv fades..haha..though he wont read tis..but hugs my dear kor..haha..
next week will be quite a busy week..when i go job hunting..and theres rvco junior campfire on tue nite..though i dun noe where the new rv is..haha..haf to follow juniors le..mum nagging again..hais..when can i ever break the password?? haha..goodnites..(=
---10:03 PM---
haha..tat is hupkee..my foster head..she's reali nice..and one of the few who wore white too,..its similar to mine..jus tat hers is short..but mine is long..saw her afew times..in the toilet..so its taken in the toilet..haha..foster next sat i tink..yea..C=
the red light pic is supposed to be the dao pic..hl lahs..she removed the flash accidentally..haha..taken in the hotel lobby..we were the oni 2 still there..haha..
the guy is weekim..bingzhao's best fren..he's in nj of cos..haha..straight A person..and he's reali nice..haha..he said he couldnt recognise mi when he saw mi..haha..promised to show tis to bz..
---11:17 PM---
haha..before anything is said..before i gush over prom again..lets upload some pic..haha..some of the prettiest pic i tink i can ever take..;) but sigh..com got prob..so can oni put up the first few..nvm..shall continue soon..haha..zr saes my blog is quite dead..bleahs..
prom is finally over..haha..abit sad though..cos lyk prepare so much jus for tat dae rites..and..within 9h plus post prom..its over le...but..reali..
its worth all the preparation..anxiety..and even hostility..cos the dae before prom..hl came my house to prepare..then it was the first time i tried everything together..the dress and the accessories.. but to my horror..hl and my mum still feel tat something was missing..they said the necklace was not nice enough..but i looked and looked again..and still cant find anything wrong..so was reali quite devastated..wif less than a dae oni to prom..threw abit of tantrum i tink..haha..but lyk alwaes..my darling hl reali bear wif my..guess the reason y we nv ever quarrel is becos she alwaes gif in to mi..and she's reali patient..haha..but sometimes..sometimes i oso got gif in de k..jus aBit lesser..=P was complaining y she nv read my blog..then she replied..aint i alreadi your blog..hahax..veri veri true i tink..cos lyk every small thing tat happen..i'll complain to her..haha..so yups..told her recently..next time if i find a bf..it muz be someone so impo tat he can take over her position..haha..so crab you see hoh..your tat impo to mi..hahax..cheers then..to 4 years of our frenship..long way wor..haha..n nv ending arhx..lets quarrel one dae then..haha..try abit rites..=P
back to prom..haha..trust mi..everyone was so so so so so gorgeous..when i first entered the hotel..was reali surprised..guess words cant describe how pretty every gal was..haha..everyone said the same thing..haha..even the guys cant deny the gals were pretty..the best part was i cant recognise chingli..hahax..luv her hair and makeup..she was stunning..one of the finalists for prom queen leh..haha..hl alwaes tot tat she was pretty too..reali wonder how the gals find their dresses..cos every looked so diff and special..hahax..for the best couple's award..reali..i would haf voted and maybe force my class to vote for zr n steven if she had went..but nah..hope the pictures in her camera are nice enough to let her see at least how the gals looked..haha..
haha..haven even reach the part where i wan to gush abt my beauty..and my mum is nagging le..hahax..shdnt spare your next time..shall type an indepth analysis on y i tink i looK..not lookED k..(ahmm zr..) nice on prom..haha..eh..shall end wif a dao pic..the red light de..when i was calling my mum at 530 am..goodnites..=)
---10:18 PM---
