Labels: tots..emo..happie bdae dear bz..(:
back from arts camp..one camp after another is reali quite tiring..but its worth it cos of the fun fun fun..(:
currently suffering from e after effects of zzZing oni 2h..plus the i-miss-zr-but-she's-in-camp syndrome..i so so feel lyk rambling..
i feel weird. ( okays wq..see the spelling..) maybe when u experience alot..learn alot..noe alot..grow alot..yet u'll hang on more to the veri simple things from e start..
nahs.i dun noe how to put into words how im feeling.
maybe its jus abit of diappointment.
maybe its time to accept tat some things jus dun last forever.
its time to stop being greedy.
i hate it.
being able to expect wats going to come.
n feeling sad about wats going to come.
its making mi haf higher expectations of myself
gal.
when will u ever understand tat no one can be perfect.
when can u ever love urself enough.
maybe its jus mi tinking too much.
prove mi wrong.
tell mi all these are not signs.
tell mi im not expecting too much.
tell mi im not being too greedy.
dun ever come n leave.
blahs.
jus feeling emo.
memories memories
the 2 camps haf bought mi alot of fun, laughter, happiness and frenships.
bebop bebop.
aaaaaajax.
i'll nv ever ever forget everything.reali.
the people.the place.the programmes.the fights.the rubbish.the gossips.
haha.
happpppppppppie bdae bz.
gosh.
tis is abit late cos i took abit too much time to blog.
sweet 19th.
2.5 years n still counting.
ur def enjoying urself now cos u din pick up my call.
humphs.
but ur class is reali sweet to celebrate wif u todae.
haha..i dun noe how to continue..cos alot of things can be left unsaid..no matter wat..i'll wish for the best best for u..(:
love.
---11:33 PM---
Labels: biz arts camp..miss home..wq bdae..love..
sorry for the lack of updates..i noe i noe..will blog abt biz camp soonsoon..(:
ur muz be wondering y am i blogging when i supposed to be at arts camp..i came back..after 1 dae..cos it wasnt as fun as i expected it to be..but the main reason was i feel scared staying alone in a room of eusoff hall..i dun noe y kent ridge last week wasnt tat bad..but tis time i was afraid..so i came home at 4 plus 5 am..n slept soundly on my bed till 2pm..but i din bathe or anything..and i act din even wask my hair cos i was too tireds..imgaine..bathing at 6..then maybe i can oni sleep at 10am..so despite feeling dirty smelly all tat..i hopped onto my bed..hug my doggy tite..and fell zzZ immediately..
will tok abt arts camp soon too..and reali..its camps which made mi realise how how much i love my parents..how how much i luv my mum..miss my mum tat badly..though i alwaes quarrel wif her..but do u believe it..they are willing to wakeup at 3 plus 4am jus to drive mi back from nus..and when im alone in the hall room..i act miss my parents my home so so much i feel lyk crying..i noe it sounds so stupid..but i reali reali miss them so so much though its oni the first nite..suddenly..all tis made mi realise i cant live if anything is removed from my life now..though it isnt reali perfect..but im veri veri contented..i pray everynite tat pple close to be will be safe n sound..please let it work foreva..let things stay the way there are..your arhx..please dun ever disappear from my life..i will not be able to take it..haha..haf to rush cos lots of things to unpack blahs..meeting 2b gals later..i feel reali so happie wif tis tot..
happie bdae dearest wierdest (ahMm) cutest nicest kindest sweetest yummiest wQ!! we love u. i love u too. haha..dun worry cos i haf alreadi rebonded long ago..but u noe..i may curl it somedae..=P may u enjoy tis dae..thank u for the 7 yrs n still counting..fiona loves u..(:
love.
---2:17 PM---
Labels: yummy food..wq's hse..fun..fav song..changes to blog..(:
before i start..do ur notice a change in my blog..i haf a tagboard..finally!! so happie..ur can flood now..n i haf a song!! ur muz wait until the song loads n on ur speaker loud loud n listen k..its reali nice..my fav song..would u be there by redwan ali..listen listen..(:
at tis instant..im still tinking of wq's maid's ricecooker mixed chicken rice..its so0 so yummy! i ate lyk 5-6 bowls..then after i finished everything..wq told mi..i tink its veri fattening..cos my maid used chicken soup blahs blahs..she oni told mi after i finished!! she tried to stop mi from eating..but i ignored her and continued eating happily..but if i haf a choice again..i'll still eat as much..or more..haha..its so so delicious..okay..since im jobless now..n haf loads of free time..i shall seriously master the skill of cooking it!! it has been quite some time since i cooked or baked..i miss cooking..kk..soon..if i succeed..i'll ask u gals to come n try..hahax..(:
went wq hse on thu..during sec sch daes..she alwaes sae she lives on a hill but i nv understood y..but on thu..i understood totally..its reali on a hill..its so so far from the bus stop..and nid to climb stairs..mayb tats y i was so hungry when i reached her hse..but she was on the phone wif mi all the while..and i was grumbing..nagging..scolding..but she beared wif mi n accompanied mi all the way until i reach her hse..
then at her hse..we played games..hear yj gush abt her fav dbsk ( again..sigh..)..she was lyk forcing mi to sit infront of her com to watch dbsk on utube..imagine my pain n trauma..sigh..but in e end she din succeed..=P then after tat..mel went for her advance theory test..and she passed!! then she came back wif a dvd..and we watched the r21 show chi qing at nite..wif lots of crackers..but the show was bad..dun understand y is it r21..and the les theme wasnt touching at all..mayb the plot isnt good..and we are all still straight after watching it..(i hope so)..hahax..n they act played tis game which is to find hidden objects in a complicated backgrd..but i fell zzZ on wq's bed..they ask y i kip tossing n turning when i zzZ..and wq said she can see my tummy!! humph..evils..sobs..i reali become fat le lahs..
but i luv them so much reali..cos they are a grp of pple where im so retarded..so natural..so stupid..so rubbish..so blur..we are reali quite childish together..mayb if its other pple..they will nv appreciate or understand..but i do..n i noe ur do..thank u..will we stay lyk tis..will everything nv change..will we still be together till yrs yrs later..we muz k..let tis blog save all the happie memories..
n i was act quite afraid to walk to the bus stop to go home tat nite cos it was reali quite dark..and im not reali familiar there..n wq act accompanied mi to the bus stop wif her maid..thank u reali..its jus so sweet..all in all..tat few hrs was totally worth all the walking under the horrible scorching sun..another fun memorable dae..(=
act i wanted to blog abt my bad dream..bt quite tireds now..still tinking whether to go for the camp on mon..hmm..shall see how..but if i go..i'll disappear till thu..tats all for now..goodnites..(:
*Would You be there*
If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that’s ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.
If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one?To take my breath away?
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one?To take my breath away?
Would you be there..
love.
---3:21 PM---
Labels: bad tempered...work..school..shopping..new bag..
dhqsjhdfaojcvaixcjzscguadpdfljjsaiudasjcioa';[a[pldoplakdasfl'[asp[ps[dklfsayushud78wqoicmljiof89aojsidosdolfps90qwiopwr891iu35udsjflsfjowdlASUQTWBFXVMNSDGTuidrjgjworjdjkfhwdu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rawrs.
urghs.
roars
.mewS.
becoming a lion real soon.
stupid stupid stupid.
blahs.
im sorry gals..im alwaes whining n whining..cos reali..its my own choice..it not lyk i din get to choose..so i reali cant blame anything or anyone..n thank u babes..cos ur alwaes manage to cheer mi up..contentment is happiness..(:
saw a white bag which i lyked at raffles place jus now..was hafing lunch wif vanessa ( cw's reali good fren )..ate yong tau fu..its fried ones..nice but felt quite guilty after eating though..cos its reali deep fried..and oh..she's going ntu mass comm..hahax..and will be going back to the shop after work to look at the bag..may be buying it..(:
and i saw her eyecandy..she pointed him out..i saw him looking at her wors..maybe..they may noe each other one dae..hmm..reali quite shuai..the type i'll find shuai..hahax..and aww..my smoker n non-smoker eyecandies are all gone ( the nonsmoker one is reali shuai)..mayb tats the real reason y i quit..hahax..but act im jus tireds..and i reali haf a strong feeling if i dun leave..something bad may happen..lyk losing my temp card and paying $100 for it..or making a big big mistake in my work..i dun noe..jus haf tis reali bad feeling..hope i'll tide thru tmr peacefully..
sigh..realised blogging is the best way to kill time..i wonder who reali reads all tis..haha..big thanku..(=
and i wan to buy a new nail polish colour..was tinking of black..cos its unique..and i tink it looks exotic..haha..but guess my mum plus hl ( tat time dark pink she was alreadi complaining) will jus disown mi..so mayb..hmm..a silverish sweet colour..and i guess..its time to buy some eyeshadow..
and i nid to buy mani bdae prez plus a father's dae prez..its lyk most are overdue..gosh..lyk quite a no..tat'll mean major spending of money..and tmr onwards..i'll be officially unemployed..wif lots of free time..hence lots of shopping..and lots of spending..
but i haf decided..i'll start going to the library..jurong lib cos its big..on regular basis..to start hunting down useful books cos i dun haf any foundation for bz..esp acct..but i guess its no point reading abt acct cos its too hard..its beyond understanding..hmm..act bz reali seems interesting..cos its practical and something which can be applied to daily life..looking forward to studying bz ( will be studying for 1st yr..then specialise into acct )..and act i feel tat finance is similar to acct..jus tat acct is harder n more specialised in a way..cos it involves lots of calculation and skills..hmm..overall..im still looking forward to end of work..which is soon soon..(:
1h more to 6.30..it seems to be taking foreva..then i'll go buy my bag..
tataz..
love.
---5:43 PM---
Labels: blabberings..shopping..tots..vainess..
aww..im so jealous..camps in nus are starting tis week..act could haf gone for the sheares hall camp..which is todae..mon to thu..but haf to work last three daes..cos work ends on wed..so i cant go..sobs..nah..its jus tat i wan to play..after mths of working..but i'll def crash some camps..or mayb at least one..urghs..tis playfulness in mi is nv reduced despite my ageing..
toking abt ageing..its oni abt 4 mths b4 i reach 19..tat'll mean no more sweet 18..its so ironic..when we were young..we alwaes wanted to grow up..so tat we can do tis..do tat..no restrictions..but as we grow older..we realised we dun wan to grow up..cos things change when we grow up..we are forced to face reality..accept tat things are not as perfect as wat we alwaes tot..accept tat some things are meant to be dreams n remain as dreams..but yet i believe..in everyone of us..theres still tis innocent or childlike side which will nv change..its jus tat sometimes..we dun show it or hide it..bleahs..tis is a whole lot of crabbing..but..i reali reali dunwan to age..gals are prettiest n most attractive from 18 to mid,late twenties..i dunwan to be an old haggard woman!!
n since is the last 3 daes of work..i decided to wear my best new clothes..and be a flowervase for the last 3 daes..after i leave there will be no more eyecandies left in the office k..hahax..=P hmm..mayb still left a polygal..hahax..n the dress im wearing now is gorgeous..cos its fitting..a black wif wif white lines ( apple's fav cos she's in lUv wif lines horizontally vertically diagonally etc..haha..) tube dress..but as usual..it kips dropping..urghs..i reali dun noe y..nowadaes tube dresses on mi kips dropping..no..ever since prom..tube dresses haf been starting to drop down..then stupid cw kip saying my figure has decreased..urghs..but it appears to be so..cos the dress cant be supported..sobs..how..papaya doesnt seem to exert any effect..( zr bluff mi..but act she said wif milk..which i din..haha..) eh..gals..any recommendations? hahax..
yeas..going back to nj on thu wif hl..and her asg..going kap first to eat breakfast..i miss bigbreakfast..rem i used to cry when i cant eat them ( cos past 11am)..even though i was lyk in sec sch..hahax..mayb sec1? bleahs..i miss nj alot too..i miss the western food..def going to eat lunch there..n the grandstand too..but now theres no more watch to watch..so not meaningful anymore..haha..
i tink my entires are becoming more rubbish..oh no..i suddenly rem something..yj calls mi rubbish princess..cos i blabber too much nonsense on msn..but no lohs..her spamming is extreme..everything she links to dbsk..oh no..she's going to start screaming now..dun understand wat's so shuai abt them..they are not tAt shuai k..jay the best..but if reali who's the most most goodlooking..def is wuzhun..plus my sweets..(:
n im so looking forward to chalet..cos..there'll def b truth or dare..or truth or truth..i tink 2b gals got mani scandals nv sae lohs..haha..esp xy..plus tess..its time to reveal the secrets..:D
hmm..i dun noe if i'll miss working..cos no more work from wed onwards..will start rotting at home..haha..but it oso means moe time for rest n shopping..my cupboard is still not veri stocked up yet..haha..tis is the list of things i muzzzzzzz buy for uni..
1) nice sandals n slight heels
2) a big tote bag for school
3) pencil case plus stationary
4) two sweaters ( long n short) for Lts
5) bodycare haircare products to pamper myself..=P
6) ___
7) clothes n more clothes (:
its 5pm now..1.5h to end of work..i'll hang on..tataz..
love.
---5:19 PM---
Labels: fridae..at work..happie..
blogged yest nite..but im blogging again..haha..C=
in office doing report..act i cant use the com..but when im doing report i nid the com to compile all the info..so using my boss's acct..which has internet..but of cos..i dun reali dare to use..so im typing tis on notepad first..then transfer it later to blogger..next wed will be my last dae at work..i tink mayb half has alreadi quitted..while the other half will quit by the end of june..which means im at kind of the earlier ones..lazy mi..=x
thu haf to go back to nj to collect cert..i MUZ kip my cert properly..i MUZ NOT lose it..gosh..i better not be so careless..n fridae equals hair treatment dae..it has been one mth plus since i rebonded..n i haven went back to a salon to do hair treatment which is veri veri impo..cos the hair has alreadi been damaged when the thermal straightening process..toking abt rebonding..lets mi type something so cooooooooooold n rubbish tat happened yest..haha..
was on msn as usual wif yj..xy..wq..as usual..full of spamming..yj is the best spamming queen on earth..she can link any word to dbsk..n i dun understand y they are shuai..MY jielun is the cutest..(:
so..as usual..wq was wierd..n cheem..then we were toking abt bringing her to a doc to save her from her reali bad wierdness..then yj saes..its useless cos she'll drive the doctor crazy..then guess wat smart wq replied..the ans is..but i cant drive..LOLsssssssss..first time im using tis word cos i dun reali lyk loling..but isnt it sooooo colds..
tis isnt all..then at the end when i was abt to leave..cos it was alreadi 2am..n they all dun haf to work except mi..we were back to the les gayish bi topic..wq is obviously bi..isnt it ob..then i was declaring i was straight n oni luving lielun..then yj said..u rebonded urself?it took mi reali lyk 1 sec before i understand wat she's saying..ehs..which means im quite smart act..cos i understood..(=
but..haha..isnt all tis so funnie..dun noe when did we start tis mini crappish chatroom..but it reali makes mi laugh..its jus so nonsense but yet so fun..^^
feel lyk changing my blog address..i haf tot of one..shall change soon..<:
so so looking forward to the chalet..it seems lyk everyone has sooooo mani secrets wors..shall force them out during truth or dare..hahaha..
it reali made mi feel better..though so mani of us are going nus..but yet..there are a few who are in ntu too..its not tat i reali dislike ntu..its jus tat i luv nus too much to lyk ntu..but..im hoping i'll reali change tis mindset when i enter the sch..lets jus hope the orientation will be fun..cant wait to play..
n one diamondish crystal on my crown ring dropped out..=( apple! sobs..mayb cos i haf been wearing it everydae since i bought it..lyk it much much..its so pretty..apple! wheres urs? humph..but orhs..we can wear it to ntu together! yeayeas..apple hearts apple..is purple n pink..no green sourish ones involved..:P
got in contact wif kewen recently again..it has been so long..2 years..cos i lost her no..was so happie when she msged mi a week plus ago..we agreed to meet soon..she's my best bestest fren in sec sch for four yrs..she taking econs in smu..one of the few pple i noe who are going smu..pity she's not going ntu..cos ntu fass is oni beside..bEsiDE ntu biz sch..its lyk the same building but diff sides..but i shdnt be too greedy..cos theres alreadi wq in ntu fass..(:bahs..i miss miss my eyecandy in NUS fass..shall gif my sweet to hl then..since she'll be in nus..
realised tis entry is one of the most crabbish one..haha..tis happens when ur too bored n sick of doing reports..anw..i cant wait to study biz..cos we'll be studying biz for first yr..then specialise into acc..kind of lyk biz now..it seems different n interesting..
n oh..i fell in luv wif maydae songs ever since we went kster on wed..their songs are a mixture of sweet ones..n 'high' ones..kip humming the wo yao chu lian le..but i still luv tian shi most..(:
ice milk tea is yummy too..=)
dun noe y..i feel blessed now..happie..maybe cos its fridae..n im planning to go shopping later at bugis..haha..shopping aside..but its jus tat almost everything seems to be fine now..though of cos its not perfect..but im contented..or mayb its moodswing but its at the highest point now..haha..
father's dae is coming..hmm..haf to get my daddy something later on..
its 4.20pm now..abt 2h plus to end of work..to start of shopping..
tataz..
love.
---4:25 PM---
Labels: fiona hearts clarkeish quaish icecreamish ksterish gAls..^v^
wanted to blog tis entry for so so long..but din get to it till now..now im bloggingg..plus listening songs..plus..trying to escape fro the dbsk spam n fight btw wq..xy..n yj..not oni dbsk..but oso which guys are pretty..shuai..hot..gals..cRusHes..the whole list goes on..we are lyk quarrelling every min..arguing tat we are alwaes rite..and who's the wierdest..though the answer is so obvious..rites? =D
haha..all tis is so so childish..but it brought mi so much fun..joy n happiness..it made mi cheer up over the nus thing..it made mi laugh so badly..its so stupid..so so childish..but..im loving every min of it..
n yest outing was fabulous..sang till voice broke..became husky..the honey lemon drink was so yummy..the singing session was so high n fun..full of happiness..the ice cream beside clarke quay river was hopelessly sweet n romantic..thack u gals reali..i reali luv ur so so much..ur complete everything..2B...or..rv gals..( we oni..hahahax..^^) ruleS..tOtALLy..
abt the nus ntu..hmm..final choice..ntu acct..do i regret? i guess so..but theres no room for regrets reali..though its not wat i wan..but since its the path i shd take..i will take it..wif my best efforts..C:
i act cried over nus for 5 times in total..the one two min before the closing date at midnite..i wanted to choose ntu so badly..my hands were shaking so badly..but i jus cant..i dun understand y in the end..my mind triumph over my heart..though im such an emotional person..but yups..i haf accepted it..and..im def going to make the best use of it..
perhaps its so true..wat u cant get will alwaes be the best..or at least..u'll alwaes tink tat its the best..hl doesnt understand..or mayb almost everyone doesnt understand y i lyk nus so much..its not becos of its brand..not becos of its place..its jus a dream sch..its jus becos i lyk it..no reason..though i noe its bus sch is not as good compared to the rest..but i still luv it..tat much..
now i understand..no matter wat it is..if u luv something/someone hopelessly..but yet..u noe tis not the best..or mayb not even good..but u still luv it..and cant find any reason..it means u reali reali love it/her/him..perhaps..love without reason is true love..(:
time heals all wounds reali..no matter at tat instant..how how much u tot everything will collapse without him/her..how dark the world will be..how u tink u cant survive..but take a step back..n hang on..after some time..everything starts to fall back in place again..then u'll realise..life still has to go on..without him/her..time is the best medicine..it removes all pain..mayb the scar will still stay..but at least..the wound recovers..
haha..lyk so much crab..but reali..no one cant leave wifout another person..( though i tink i cant wifout some..haha..)..life still has to go on..
fiona shd start forgetting abt guilt..fiona shd start living her life to the fullest..fiona shd start being happie everydae..jus lyk yest..(:
thank u reali..every every one who advised mi abt the uni courses..i tot i was horribly irritating..frustrated..toublesome..emo..stubborn..stupid..but ur stood by..thank u so much reali..
i realised i alwaes lyk to look back..n alwaes expecting so much..fiona ur not prefect..u cant be greedy..maybe..tats y i expect so much out of myself..
saw a reali meaningful serial show recently..i feel so much for the main character..hahas..gtg..cos im reali tireds..gosh..2 plus am now..less than 4h of zzZ before work..sigh..reali tireds..headache..goodnites..
love.
---12:15 AM---
Labels: frustrated..i nid to find an ans now..
its reali so painful to make tis choice..i tot i could convince myself to forget nus n go for ntu..but now i realised i cant..i jus cant let go of nus..im so sick of tis struggle btw nus n ntu..so irriated wif myself..so irriated to let the pple ard mi advise n advise..im so tireds..im not brooding..im not complaining..i am grateful at least i haf tis chance of making a choice..but im jus so sick n tireds..
i feel so lost..trying to find something or someone to hold on to..but i realised i cant..
perhaps no one other than myself..understand how important tis decision is..how badly badly i wan nus..tears will jus overwhelm my eyes when i tink of not hafing the chance to go nus..
i haf grown to realise..dreams dun exist at all..tell mi how do we realise our dreams..when we are living in tis practical world..it is total RUBBISH.
---1:22 AM---
