i noe i shd be tinking abt my smu essays instead of blogging..but im jus too lazy..lazy to tink..it has been 4 months? since i last wrote my gp essay..and since then..i haf not written in proper el..n i dun noe how to praise myself..part of the testimonial last yr required by the school was written by cw..and he did quite a good job i muz sae..haha..i'll try my best to tink abt it when im free (im nv reali free though)..and fini it..my mum is nagging..haha..
kk..i haf finally decided on business..fiNAllY..=)
i reali wan to enter nus bz..n i hope they'll gif mi the chance..
n im surprised zr is still alive after tis 2 weeks..haha..i tink she reali vomitted blood after listening to mi..lyk when i call her at 1am n told her im tinking of taking chem eng..haha..
tis was e nite before i typed my previous entry..after a chat wif my aunt..my mum wanted mi to take chem eng cos my aunt who's working in a foreign chem eng company saes tat chem ang has lots of market in e future..and e pay is high..wat she said was act reali true..its undenible tat chem eng has high employment rate..and the pay is reali high..and my mum saes tat by taking bz..i'll be wasting so mani years of taking science..its lyk forsaking wat i haf learnt for so mani years altogether..and she saes tat alot of pple around mi are taking courses related to science lyk medicine..dentistry..pharmacy..engineer..etc..while im not..she asked mi wheres tat passion n interest i had in sec 2 when i insisted n fought to take bio cos i lyked the subject..
for a moment..i was reali persuaded by her..i reali considered heeding her advice..tats when i called zr and told her i was reali confused..and thank god i did..or else i would not haf reached a conclusion..your dun noe..but it seems tat the decisions i insist on making are most of the time wrong..i end up regretting..but when i heed my mum's advice..it seems tat everything turns out well in e end..thus i end up not hafing confidence in everything..every decision i nid to make..mayb tats y i alwaes ask pple for opinions and advice..
for eg..in sec 3..i insisted on taking el lit cos i scored reali well..and i quite lyked it..so i went ahead n took it..but i ended up failing reali every single test n exam even all the way till olevels..in e end i got b3 for combined el lit n ss..luckily there was geo to save mi or else i would not haf managed to enter nj..
n in j1..i din wan to take bio cos i got b3..n i nid to take a selection test before i can apple for bio..i was reali lazy..n my marks showed tat i cant do bio well..but my mum forced mi..n i took it unwillingly..but i found out in e end i lyked it..n in the end..i got A for it..without bio..if i had chose econs lyk i wanted..mayb my results would haf been so so much worse..
now u noe..it seems lyk i can nv make the right choice..while my mum reali noes wats best for mi..im reali afraid of taking tis big step n choose something i wan..but end up regretting for the rest of my life when its not suitable for mi..cos tis decision we are making now reali affects the rest of our life..
i cried when i was toking to zr on the phone tat nite..silently ( so she din noe act) ..the tears jus fell..mayb cos i was reali stressed up n lost..and cos the things she said was so so true..but it jus feels so helpless..mayb cos she understands wat i was going thru..i teared when she said tat nobody noes whether the decision we make is right or wrong..but we can minimise the regrets we feel in the future wif the strong belief tat at least at tat moment we made the choice..it was something we reali wan n tink is the best for ourselves..
thank you dear..it feels so so much better when ur lost n theres someone to support n hold on to u..someone to listen..someone who comforts..n though i din tell them..but i reali reali appreciated all the help bz cy hl zr cw gaf mi..it was so much reali..feel guilty over all my rants..confusion.." fickleness"..indecisivenss..for being so irritating these 2 weeks..thank u for all the patience n support all the way..(=
i noe business may not be the course im most most interested in or wish to pursue..cos i dun tink i'll lyk the huge number of projects..and it's going to be reali hard cos its something so so new..something i haf nv learnt before..but i noe the job prospects are wat i reali wan..so for e sake of my future..i'll go for it..and i'll do a good job..i'll try my best to get wat i wan..and i'll work hard..i will..C:
i went to chinatown OG n tried on a business coat ( cant be sweater..jacket etc..so shall call it coat..)..its brownish grey..i saw it so mani times while travelling up the escalator..n i reali tot it was so pretty..so i decided to try it on at last..it fitted perfectly n it looked so nice on mi..suddenly..i looked so office lady..so businesswoman..haha..my mum n dad said it was nice on mi..it was so happie..din buy it of cos..cos im not working yet..n im not sure if i can get in bz..abit sad of cos..cos i lyked it reali much..n it looked nice..lyked the cutting..the colour..feminine wif a tinge of maturity n 'sophiscatedness'..nice..it costs 100 bucks..quite ex act..but i'll work hard to earn money..and buy it if i get into bz..cos we'll nid it in sch during presentations..(:
it makes mi realise tat yes..tis is wat i wan..work hard in an office..5 dae work week..go out at nite after work or during weekends..shop..relax..i lyk the business wear..i lyk the office wear..i lyk the light makeup..tis is so ordinary..so common..n though i noe i'll hate the office politics..the stressful n busy environment..but i'll learn..i'll adapt..i dun noe y..cos both of my parents work in offices..my mum in a bank..it feels slightly safer n secure pursuing something ur parents once did and is doing now..or its jus tat i lack the courage to try something different from the convention..but watever it is..i jus hope tat life in uni will be fun memorable n enriching..n tat i'll find a job i lyk when i graduate..i'll work hard for my goal..let tis serve as a reminder..=>
tis is a long post..and theres so mani mani other things i wan to blog abt..but it seems lyk theres no time..
can i jus gush abit abt the oh-my-god so so sexy body of the female lead in the mtv 'cry mi a river'..i'll do anything for tat waist reali..but i tink even extreme dieting n exercise wont get mi anything near tat..n i lyk the song too! y are there so mani slim n shapey gals in tis world..they make mi look fat..haha..but im still grateful for wat is given to mi..though i alwaes complain alot..i still lyk my imperfect body..n my features n thick black..slightly brown hair..wahaS.. :D
im so hungry..y is there still one hr plus to lunch..i feel lyk eating..hmm..western food! i reali miss nj's omelette..y no one understands how yummy the mushroom , cheese , ham , sausage combined omelette in nj is..i reali miss it..one dae i may jus take leave n smuggle into nj to haf it..haha..
i smiled when i was reading cy's entry on his ns life tis 2 months..we are similar..cos he's the oni one i noe who share e same taste wif mi in almost all ch songs..he'll alwaes haf any songs i lyk..n im lyk him..who appreciates e small happiness added up together in our daily life..who feels grateful..tinks abt it.. feels touched n treasure tis small little details in life..C:
im in a good mood todae..im not tat tireds..though theres tuition on tue..thu..n sat..n theres worksheets for mi to mark by tonite..cos i tink the top n skirt im wearing is quite nice..though my mum disagrees..bleahs..
n i haf decided..after my contract wif Hsa ends..i wan to either..
1) work in a childcare centre
2) work in a school
3) work as a retail assistant which sells pretty clothes
4) work in a bank since im planning to take bz finance
but i'll def rest for sometime before i start another job..
i lyk my colleagues act..cos they are reali nice n sweet..but the workload is jus too heavy..or mayb its not tat heavy..jus tat i hate doing something over n over again..n something so un-related to pple..(im starting to be lyk zr i tink..haha..) something tat i jus dun lyk doing but will continue for the sake of completing it..i reali dunlyk filing..anything but filing..n i realised when i see a cute child at my building i'll smile to myself..cos theres a childcare at the second storey..and im seriously considering to work there..cos i luv small children n i can alwaes go up to the 12th storey to visit my colleagues..but doing admin the whole dae reali doesnt put any smile on my face..though the fun wif my colleagues sometimes does..but i noe i'll miss them reali..cos they are jus so so nice..they protray such a sweet image of adults..though i noe all tis will change when we complete our studies and step into the working society..but at least for now..everything is still so kind to mi..thanku..(=
i tink i spent more than 1h plus on tis..theres of cos much more to be written..but shall leave it for the next post..
`gals..if theres anything ur wan to comment or sae..leave it as a draft in my blog? cos i reali dun noe how to create a tagboard..mayb ur can log into my acct n help mi create one? zr i noe u noe how to do it! *hiNts..winkS* hahax..tats all..
love.
---9:39 AM---
